return my video game
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
