I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize