K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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