Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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