Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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