U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You can't special order awesome
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
