y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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