she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize