just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
