I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
