how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
