how can u be prego again
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
