I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize