This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
