Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The uberlube is also flammable
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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