You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
