And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize