is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm just crazy horny about you
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
