I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
