Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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