I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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