Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It was a blind-side dick pic.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
