Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
