We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
