Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
