i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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