I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
