I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
