your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
