Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
