I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We left the knife in your bed.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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