Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I am mentally ready for anal.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
