Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
