before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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