Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
