I want to make a zoo with you.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
