if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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