Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
