Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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