I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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