no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
