??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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