I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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