Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
