I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
