He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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