I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
