I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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