The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
