Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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