Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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