Don't you send me to vm
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
