I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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