he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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