Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
